


It's not like he could do anything about it

by BoopitybopCoodilybap



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Parentlock, parent mormor, they're actually not that bad at parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoopitybopCoodilybap/pseuds/BoopitybopCoodilybap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim comes home one day with a surprise!<br/>But Sebastian is a little reluctant to take on the responsibility that comes with it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jim Moriarty was almost completely covered in blood.

His suit and tie splattered in it and his arms turned red up to his elbows.

He held a medium sized gun in one hand, and he threw it down on the coffee table as his flat mate and boyfriend, Sebastian Moran, looked on at him in shock.

But the blood and the weapon weren't what surprised Sebastian. Those were commonplace in their lives. Blood and guts is what they lived for. It was their jobs. The Consulting Criminal and his Sniper.

No. What surprised him was what his boyfriend had in his other hand, held at his hip.

"Jim," he said. And he heard his voice waver as he did it. Sebastian hated when his voice wavered. "Jim, why are you holding a baby?"

"Afternoon, love!" Jim smiled, bending over to kiss Sebastian on the forehead. The child in question looked like it had just seen someone be shot. Sebastian knew that look from the faces of his witnesses right before they became victims. Actually, the kid probably /had/ just seen someone be shot. That would explain the blood... And where Jim got the baby from in the first place.

"Jim?" Sebastian repeated. "Jim?"

"Is there any tea in? I think I'll have some brew before I hop in the shower. Care to join me?"

Sebastian knew he wasn't referring to the tea in his question. And, yes, he would very much like to join his boyfriend in the shower, but he was still stuck on the idea of the baby. It was kind of hard to ignore.

"Why are you holding a baby, Jim?"

Completely ignoring Sebastian's question, and apparently not needing an answer to his own, Jim continued to smile and hum as he began preparing the tea for the two of them with one hand, while he still clutched the baby to his side with his other.  
Then he walked calmly over to the arm chair where Sebastian sat, and placed the baby on his lap.

Sebastian Moran had no idea what to do with a baby. 

Sebastian Moran had never held a baby before.

Sebastian Moran actually hated babies. All they did was slobber and fart and crap all over the place.

And he still hadn't gotten an answer to his question; so he repeated himself again, only this time more angry than confused. "James Moriarty, why the /hell/ did you bring a baby into our flat?!"

Again, Jim just smiled at him, his big puppy eyes looking on at him with the look reserved just for Sebastian: a look of almost-love. Not complete love. Neither of them were capable of proper love.

"She could be useful." Was all Jim said. 

"Useful?!" Now Sebastian was incredulous. "How?! As a hostage, right? Please tell me this thing is a hostage! Any minute now, you're going to get a call and its parents are going to pay a ransom and we get rid of it, right?!" Seb knew that simple kidnappings weren't Jim's norm. He hated getting his hands dirty. But then again, he had just come into their flat with his hands and arms quite literally covered in blood. Who knew? Sometimes Jim would get bored and do something different, just to keep himself entertained.

"Put her to bed and we'll have our shower then?" Jim smirked.

"Her-?" Sebastian started to say; but he knew better than to question the Great-and-Feared Moriarty.

So, not knowing what else to do, he swallowed, nodded, stood up, and walked over to the spare room in the back of the flat, carrying the baby the best he knew how. 

And sure enough, when he got there, there was a cot and a set of drawers already in the room. How Jim had gotten them there and who he had gotten to do it were the kind of questions that Sebastian had learned not to ask. So he placed the baby in the cot. He hoped he did it right. Jim would not be happy if he screwed this up. He obviously saw something in the kid that Seb didn't...

• • • • 

That night, amidst a thick fog of sweat, and a tangle of sheets, Jim Moriarty stopped suddenly and shushed Sebastian. 

He actually /stopped/ and /shushed/ Sebastian! He had the right to do it of course; despite they're being lovers, Jim was still Sebastian's boss.

But it wasn't that. It was that he /stopped/ in the middle of having sex with Sebastian.

He /never/ did that!

"Shhh! Sebastian, do you hear that?"

"Jim? What the-"

"Shhh!" He said it again.

"What?! What is it? What could it possibly be?!"

"I think she's crying." Jim's brow furrowed at the same time as his eyebrows raised.

That was one of the things that Seb loved the most about him: his facial expressions. Just his emotions in general, really. Jim wasn't afraid to show his feelings, unlike Sebastian, who always tried his best to remain serious in front of most people.  
And here, in the dark, with Jim, that was the only place that Sebastian could let his emotions loose. A flurry of passion and rage and- and... Actually, that was about it. He really only had a few, extreme emotions.

But Jim had stopped and completely ruined that all. All for, what? Was that the damn baby crying?

Sebastian sighed, annoyed, pushed Jim off of him and rolled onto his side, facing away from the other man. 

After a few eternally long seconds, he said "Well aren't you gonna go and get it?"

"I was waiting for you to do something." Jim replied.

"/Me/?! What'd you want me to do about it?"

"Come with me," He said, grabbing Sebastian's hand and pulling him out of bed. Seb threw on his boxers and an old T-shirt with a beer logo on the front, and Jim put on his dressing gown. (It was quite a nice robe, actually. They could very easily afford to live in a /much/ nicer house, and not this run-down flat in the slums of London. But it was a lot easier to live here. You could do a lot of weird stuff and not draw attention to yourself.)

So the two of them padded down the short hallway to the room which had been appropriated as the nursery, apparently.  
Jim walked over to the cot and expertly scooped up the infant into his arms, bouncing her gently until her wails turned into quiet sniffles.

"There there," he soothed. "Your mother is dead. I killed her. So we're your parents, now." He somehow made it sound like a calming message even though it was actually a murder confession. "You can call me "Daddy', and... Seb, what should she call you?"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow skeptically. "We're not /actually/ gonna keep it are we?"

"Yes! Why not?" Jim looked genuinely confused.

"Well..." He rubbed the bridge of his nose, right above his scar. There had to be some way out of this. "We're not exactly the most qualified blokes for the job."

"Sebastian," Jim gasped in mock-surprise. "Is that a heart I hear beating?"

"No." Was all he said in reply. But it didn't come out sounding as sure as he had wanted it to. Then, shaking his head "No. But..." He stopped shaking his head and sighed again. He was going to have to give in. It is literally impossible to win in an argument with Jim. "It can call me-"

"She," Jim corrected.

"She can call me 'Papa'"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is forced to go shopping for his new daughter...

The next morning was the first time Sebastian really looked at the baby.

It- /she/ had dark skin. Probably mixed nationalities or something. She didn't have much hair. Were babies supposed to have hair? He had no idea.

Jim was sitting at the kitchen table with her in his lap. He looked up when he sensed Sebastian leaning in the doorway. 

"She's hungry. Go and buy her something to eat." He said, using his 'I'm the boss whether you like it or not' voice.

"What do they eat?" Sebastian was still far from a clue about how to take care of a baby, though he guessed he could get used to having it here. Now that he had been assigned as one of its fathers, he would kind of have to get used to it. He just didn't want to upset Jim.

"Well, Sebastian, believe it or not, babies eat baby food."

"Ya. I'm aware of that. But, any specifics?"

Jim looked the child over "She's obviously under one year in age, though she's not under six months, so I would she's about eight months old. Go buy some food for an eight-month-old baby, as well as some nappies and other supplies."

"Like-?" Sebastian started to say.

"Just ask someone at the store. They'll tell you what to buy."  
He started to go, and picked up his gun and leather jacket as he opened the door.

"What are you doing?" Jim stared at him.

"It's cold outside," He said, raising his jacket.

"No. I meant the gun."

Sebastian squinted at his boss. Was he actually asking him to leave his gun? Living the life they lived, it was rare you could go out and not get caught up in some kind of trouble.

"Sebastian, I don't want to start off a pattern of being irresponsible parents."

"You're kidding, right? We live to be irresponsible. We're criminals, Jim." He didn't want to say anything about the use of the term 'parent'

"Yes, we are." He agreed. "But if you carry that gun with you to go buy baby food, then it's going to be mentally connecting the two things in your mind. And you know better than anyone that a father who connects his kids with his weapons usually does not turn out to be a good father."

Seb sighed again and placed his gun back on the rack by the door. What had gotten into Jim, lately?

"Fine," he said, knowing what Jim had said was true. "Fine."

"Oh, and one more thing: we're going to have to name her."

Sebastian shut the door.

• • • •

"Sir, can I help you with anything?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, ya." Sebastian was pretty sure he already looked like an idiot, standing here, searching the Sainsbury's baby isle shelves. But that intelligent response had probably confirmed it to the young lady in the maroon polo with the orange logo printed on it. It took him a second to realise that she worked here.

"So what can I help you with?"

"I'm, um, looking for some baby supplies."

He also realized how out of place he must look. He had noticed the group of three workers shadowing him earlier. He had guessed they were daring each other to go up to him. He wasn't exactly the most approachable guy.

"What kind of supplies?" The Sainsbury's girl with the fake smile asked. She was nervous. She was afraid of him.

"Uh, everything. Food, nappies, whatever else you need to look after a kid."

That obviously wasn't the answer she was looking for, though he could tell she wouldn't ask again.

"Well," She coughed "How old is he?"

"The baby?"

"Yes,"

"Oh," How old had Jim said she was? "She's, uh, eight months."  
"What supplies do you already have?"

"Nothing."

Her eyes widened. "Nothing?"

"Ya. That's what I said."

"Well... Let me help you get some supplies, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is ridiculously short :(  
> Sorry about that, guys. The next one will be longer. I promise!  
> Hope this has been bearable enough to enjoy reading, thus far!  
> Thank you to all those who have followed along and left kudos!  
> Next chapter gets a little angsty and should be coming soon :)


	3. Chapter 3

Seb pulled off his helmet as he flipped the kick stand on his motor bike. The kid at the Sainsbury's till had been nice enough to wrap up the supplies in one big parcel of brown paper. Heh. More like scared enough. He hadn't been willing to do it initially, until Sebastian leaned over the counter and repeated himself. Then he said he'd see what he could do and ran into the back to get some of the paper they used to wrap meat.

He pulled it off the back of his bike, where it has been precariously balancing, only held on by some cheap white string.

He stuck the string (tied together by the trembling hands of a grocery store worker) between his teeth, his helmet beneath his arm, and yanked the keys out of the ignition. Then he turned away, walked up the steps to their flat, and opened the door.

He dropped everything the moment he stepped in. The parcel spilled partially open, a few jars of puréed vegetables with pictures of smiling babies then spilled onto the floor.

Jim looked up at him from the couch and raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me why the kid needs so much crap." Sebastian said, spitting the words out like the taste of cheap wax that was still in his mouth. "Speaking of which," he suddenly noticed Jim was sitting alone. "Where is it?"

"She went down for her nap." He replied, perfectly calm.

Sebastian's shoulders dropped. "Why'd you take the kid home, Jim? Why didn't you just kill it too and leave it? We can't be parents. We just /can't/"

"Sit down, Sebastian." He said soothingly, gesturing to the spot on the sofa next to him.

Sebastian took two long-legged strides over to the couch and flopped down onto it.

"So," Jim smiled giddily, completely dropping his seriousness in an instant. "I was searching for names, and-"

"Damn it!" Sebastian snapped. "Stop avoiding the question! Are you going to tell me or not: why'd you keep her?"

Sebastian knew it wasn't wise to get angry at Jim. He'd done it before, but it had usually just been in response to his boyfriend's own rage.

He knew that if Jim didn't like him as much as he did, then Sebastian wouldn't still be alive. But snapping at him out of the blue might change that.

Sebastian cringed, realizing this, and avoided the other man's gaze.

"Come with me." Jim ordered. His voice tinted with just the slightest bit of sadness. Only someone who knew him like Sebastian did would have noticed it.

He didn't argue. Standing up slowly, he followed his boss to the nursery. They stood over the cot.

And there she was. Lying there and looking as vulnerable as anything Sebastian had ever seen. Her tiny chest rose and fell at a steady rhythm.

"Look at her, Sebastian. Really look at her. What do you see?"

He wasn't quite sure how to respond. "I... I see a baby. Lying in a cot. What else do you want me to say?"

"You see our future; the next generation of criminality." He paused to wrap his thin arms around one of Sebastian's thick, muscled ones. "We're not going to be around forever, Seb."

At that moment, something in Sebastian clicked. He wasn't sure what. But he realised that, one day, he too, would die. And this thing, this baby, would be able to carry on his legacy.

He placed one of his big hands on top of Jim's, and they stood in silence for a moment, looking at (well I guess she really was, now, wasn't she) their daughter.

It was unlike them. Sentiment. Silence. 

But so was parenting, so Sebastian was willing to make an exception.

"You... Had said about naming her?"

"Oh, yes." Jim seemed very excited, smiling as he talked. "I was thinking that, considering what we're going to be raising her to do, we should make her middle-name London."

"Alright. Sounds good to me. But what about her first?"

Now his eyes glinted with a look that suggested he knew something Sebastian didn't (which he often did, to be honest) "Well, because of you, I liked the name Tora."

"Because of me? Why? Does it mean something?"

"Yes," Jim smiled "It means 'tiger'."

Sebastian chuckled at the apparent compliment and joke. Tiger.

"Tora London Moriarty-Moran." Seb said, testing out the sound of the name. "Ya. I like it."

At that moment, almost as if responding to the sound of her name, little Tora woke up. She didn't cry, just blinked a few times and reached up for her fathers.

"Oh dear." Jim fretted. "I hope we haven't woken her up. Hello there, Tora." He said as he picked her up. "Did you sleep well? Yes. That's you're name, now. Tora."

The child then started reaching out towards Sebastian.

Jim looked from him to Tora and smiled. "I think she wants you to hold her, Seb."

"What? /Me/?!"

"Yes, you." Jim laughed as he handed the child to his boyfriend.

"How am I supposed to hold her?" Yup. He still hadn't the foggiest how to raise her.

Jim helped him maneuver his hands so he could properly hold her.

Tora made a few gurgling sounds up at Sebastian. "Uhm... Hi, kid. I guess I'm gonna be your papa." She made a few more gurgles and giggles. "I think she likes me. Who knows /why/, but she likes me."

"Of course she does. You're her father."

"Heh. Ya. I guess I am, aren't I?"

• • • •

From there on in, Sebastian began warming up to the idea of being a parent. 

Obviously Tora couldn't have a completely normal childhood. Her fathers were the two most dangerous men in England.  
They had to take her on missions from time to time, though Jim made sure that she was always safe. She couldn't even go to proper school until secondary school, when she was old enough to understand how to act in front of normal people. What to say when asked a question that could give away her fathers. They had to home-school her up until then.

Admittedly, though Tora missed out on a lot, she was actually somewhat spoilt. After all, her fathers were the two most dangerous men in England. She got almost everything she wanted. /Almost/ everything.

So it was on her first day of secondary school that Sebastian and Jim got a huge shock. The time had come.

Pulling up on his motorbike, he could already see that Tora had made a great impression on the other children. Most of them stayed quite a distance away from her. Except one child. He stood right by her side until Tora waved goodbye to him and hopped on the back of her papa's bike. The circle of distance around the other child didn't close when Tora walked away.

"Hello, papa!"

"Hey, princess. How was your first day?"

"Oh, dull. Just what I'd expected. There was one child, however... No. I'll wait until we're home to tell you about it."

"Alright. Fair enough. Put your helmet on and hold tight." He thought back to the lecture Jim had given him that morning about making sure the child didn't get brain damage because they didn't want all their work to go to nothing and blah blah blah.

They rode off through the busy streets of London on the little motorbike until they pulled up in front of their flat. It was a different flat than the one that they had lived in when Tora was first 'adopted'. They had had to move quite a few times since then, for various reasons. All of them work-related. At least, that's what they had trained Tora to say when asked about it.

He parked the bike and they walked up the stairs to the flat. As soon as they entered, Jim ran over to them started fussing about Tora, asking her lots of questions, etc.

Jim really thought of her as an experiment, despite Sebastian's initial impression. They still treated her like one of their own, though. They still raised her as best they could.

She answered all Jim's questions with practiced obedience, then went into her room to freshen up and drop off her books.

A few minutes later, she came out and addressed her parents. "Daddy, Papa, I said I had something to announce, so I would like to announce it."

"Say what you've gotta say, sweetheart." Sebastian replied.

"I ask that we sit down first."

"Very well," Said Jim, as he and Seb walked over to their chairs in the sitting room, followed immediately by their daughter.

She sat in her arm chair straight and tall, dark-skinned hands folded neatly in her lap, deep-brown hair pulled into a neat bun on top of her head, looking more serious than a child her age had the right to be. Sebastian was struck once again by what a beautiful girl she's grown up to be.

"Daddy, Papa," She repeated. "Today, at school, I met a boy."

Her two fathers took a second to react, but when they did, they certainly reacted.

Sebastian was a little taken aback. "Now just hold up a minute!" He kept repeating.

Jim was giving her the most exaggerated look of shock and kept firing more questions at her.

Tora kept a poker-face on the entire time and remained silent.

After a minute of two of her being hit with questions and responding like a brick wall (which is to say, not at all), her fathers decided to try one last question.

"Will you at least tell us his name?"

She closed her eyes for a second and breathed in before answering their question. "His name," she said in an ice-cool, calm and collected voice, "Is Hamish Watson-Holmes."

And if her fathers had been angry before, then they were outright livid now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all, folks!  
> This has been: a first-time fanfiction brought to you by yours truly, B-Scoop.
> 
> I cannot thank all of you enough for reading, following along, and/or leaving kudos :')
> 
> There is a good chance that I'll write a sequel to this (exploring the relationship between Tora and Hamish), but I'm working on a HUGE crossover, collaborating with my good friend here on Ao3.  
> No hints, but it involves a certain community radio host and scientist attending a certain school for wizards...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Don't forget to leave some kudos, and remember that any feedback is welcomed!


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